Words like rain

If I could hear just one word from you. Just one clear word and everything would change. To hear the church people talk, your words are a dime a dozen and fall like rain upon the just and the unjust. Broken souls who stumble in the church’s back door leave singing their own magnificat and I’m not hearing a thing.

Not in the book. Not during my prayers. Not from your Church.

Having heard that you speak in manifold and divers ways, I’ve accordingly turned my attention to your worldly sons and daughters, in whom I confess I often see a righteousness exceeding that of the children who bear your name. And they have changed me. I have begun to see the world with their eyes. And the world they have shown me fills me with wonder but provides precious little direction. And so I wait. And wonder. And wander. And mourn. I’m mourning something I remember once having but

honestly

maybe

I

never

really

had.

So I’m waiting for a fresh word. An unexpected word. Maybe a word coming from some new direction. And one word is all I need.

While I wait, I remain your doubting and uncertain child, your small boy from Texas. He who grew up in the deserts of El Paso, came of age in the humidity of Houston, was educated in the middle earth of Waco, was ordained into the sacred mysteries in Fort Worth, and served you in small and humble ways for quite some years in San Antonio.

Speak Lord, your servant is listening.

sleeper350

  • D. Potter

    Take with full salt shaker: One finds many things when one stops searching. Abandoning the hunt seems to free up the mind.

    There is also the matter of sufficient silence to hear still small voices.

  • RavenOnTheHill

    D! I am surprised to see you here.

    “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.”

  • MattG

    Amen. Thank you for continuing to share your writing with us.

  • Rachel Barenblat

    Thank you for this, Gordon. I am holding you in my heart, and wishing I could take you out for some tacos and a beer. God willing, I’ll manage it next time I’m in town.

    • http://tertiumsquid.com Gordon Atkinson

      Next year in Jerusalem!

  • Bob G

    This from one of a few who first turned my attention to the idea contemplative prayer and reading. Hmmm.
    The idea of peace and grace do it for me. “Ah…peace.”

  • PaulNotTheApostle

    What if you only have one input channel over which to hear both God and ? Certainly you are familiar with the experience of temptation…what if God speaking to you is exactly like that, only the content is positive and constructive (which doesn’t mean you’ll like it, at least at first) instead of negative and destructive (which doesn’t mean you won’t like it, at least at first)?